Happy Birthday dear!

Today is my little one's 3 rd birthday. When people say the birth of your baby is a life changing event, you don't grasp the meaning of it, until you have one. But again, when I think about it I feel the birth alone did not change my life. Did I imbibe motherly qualities over-night? Did I fall in love with my child at the first sight? Neither of them are true. What actually changes your life happens over a period of time - a period of time when your crazy, fussy baby becomes a hyperactive toddler and this hyperactive toddler becomes this defiant 3 year old, you realize amidst this craziness your love for your child has grown deeper and stronger and you are hooked for life with this little CRAZY thing you brought into this world :-)

Happy Birthday dear!!

Why am I not wooed?

"0 comments" post is like a lady who has never been wooed or rather never been wooed to the knowledge of the another potential suitor. Such a lady might have all the qualities a man desires, however is never wooed just because nobody else has ever wooed her to his knowledge. That is the state of a decent post with no comments - nobody wants to comment on that post, just because nobody else has!. :-)..just a crazy thought...

New Look

As the year is ending, I would like to jump-start the coming New Year with  new look, new thoughts and ideas. That is the reason for the revamped page.

When parents become kids...

As parents we always want to teach our kids the right things - how to share, how to treat other people with respect, how to be fair to everyone, how to be humble and so on. But how many of us really believe in the morals we teach our kids? Do we really, truly believe in all the values we teach our kids? This is a question we need to ask ourselves. At an early age, kids can figure out that our actions do not sync up with our words. Also, recently there is a growing obsession with one's kids. I understand we all love our kids to death, however we have to remember that every kid is born with a special talent and is different and wonderful in some way. Every parent thinks their kid is smart, creative and intelligent little human being, even if he/she is not. So please stop talking about your kid as the "gifted" one. I am tired of such parents in playgroup and social gatherings. They will not directly tell praise their kid, however will use every opportunity to indicate that their kid is ahead in the race..what race you may ask? like potty training, learning to walk, talk, knowing their ABC's, being social, the list goes on.

Life is too short. Enjoy your kids AND also others kids. Learn to appreciate the beauty in God's every creation. Stop this obsession. No matter how "gifted" you kid is, there is definitely a kid in some part of the world who is better than your kid. Learn to love your kids as they are...sorry for being so preachy, but I cannot take it anymore!!!

Can i have it all?

Image Courtesy: http://themomcoach.typepad.com

Oh my God! I am totally at crossroads in my life right now. It is comforting to know that Laksh also went through the same thing. I am so torn between working full-time and being there for my son. I know very well that he is getting the attention he needs and is being well taken care of emotionally and physically, yet I cannot get over the feeling that I ought to be with him. I do not think it is guilt. I just think that I enjoy being with my son so much that I miss him during the day when Iam at work. I would love to work from home at least 2 days a week, but I do not have that choice now. Even if I work from home I do not think that is equivalent to being with him all day, focusing on him, doing fun activities with him. I just miss that. I have the choice to quit, but that would mean more struggle down the line – giving up a good career and starting all over again. Since you kids will need you in some way or other for the next 10 years, re-starting a dead career will be more of a challenge, when you are not doing something. As it is, this break has been difficult for me, as I took off from the workforce for 2 years. A mother is not allowed to take even 2 years to raise a child? I really hope the work environment offers more part-time and flexible options for mothers. Also, I really hope the workforce is lenient towards mothers taking a break to raise their kids. In the end, it will be a win-win situation, because happy mothers mean happy kids and happy kids hold promise for better generation that is secure and high-achieving. As a mother, I never underestimate my constant presence in my son’s life. I wish I could have it all!!!

Resolve, Determination, Persistence really means..

Read Iron Woman

Americanized

Well, what should I be doing now? Studying, applying for jobs, catching up on sleep, exercising?? After all this is my break time (my son is napping). Instead what am I doing? Blogging. Why? Because it is so very difficult to stop and capture the train of thoughts, for a later point in time (anyways there is no later point in time to blog).

Coming to the topic, isn't it strange? I mean to love the things we once hated and to hate the things we once loved? Here are few examples:

When I came into this country I had to work in an ice-cream shop. Of course we got free milk-shakes and ice-creams anytime we wanted. I wish I knew more about fat/saturated fat/trans fat/empty calories back then, I wouldn't have made ice-cream my lunch and dinner. Well, I always thought I would be a 'back of bones'. I was wrong. Age and weight catch up with you fast. Anyways, back to the point..I used to hate mint-chocolate chip flavor. I used to think why do "these" people like this tooth-paste (min-choco ice-cream used to taste like indian tooth-paste to me) so much?

When my roommates used to drag me to Tacobell, I used to crave the indian wrap (whatever they call them, i forgot the name).

I used to love the idea of returning back to India to live close to my relatives. I loved the idea of meeting them everyday and they being part of our lives and spending time with them. I loved the idea of joint-family system.

Fast forward, 9+ years:

I really like indian tooth-paste for an ice-cream.
I crave tacobell food over the indian wrap.
I am happy being in U.S of A, my independent self, leading an independent life-style. I hate the constant interference of relatives when I go to India. I find life claustrophobic with too many rules to adhere to and too many pretensions to live by with my relatives constantly hovering around us. However, I love to live close to my parents (i hope that does not change :-)).

Sometimes, it is scary to realize that you change so much. Is this what they refer as becoming "Americanized"?

Occupation: Mother

Well since I have glorified motherhood, let me also share some of its challenges. On a day to day basics being a stay at mom and the primary caregiver for your baby can be frustrating. The routine of doing the same thing everyday almost exactly the same time, yet having some totally unpredictable days can get to you. For a person who hates routine, having a baby has been a huge transition. My baby has taught me the value of being in a rigid routine and sticking to it. I can never go back to being the person I once was.

Coping with the frustrations of being a stay-at-mom, I have found what helps me is treating, caring for child like working for a job. For example, we have routine days at work and yet some days are totally unpredictable ones. How do we handle this? Since, we are paid to do the job, we try to keep focus, we try to find ways to keep ourselves motivated, likewise being with my baby all day I have tried to find ways to keep myself sane and happy.

While, doing a good or bad job at work, can only impact our performance review, same is not true while taking care of our babies. As a parent, I totally feel that bringing a person into this world comes with a huge commitment - it is definitely the most important job on earth. As much as I want to do my best in the most important job, I have ever had, I find myself at times doubting myself. I am sure I am learning everyday. One thing I can easily say is that, of all the jobs I have ever held, this is the best job I have had. Even though it has its frustrating moments, I totally and completely love every bit of my work!!

Three cheers to motherhood!! :-)

Magic of Motherhood

I am no poet. In fact far from it, but why do I feel like writing a poem about the magic of motherhood?


At the end of a really trying and tiring day, why does the exuberant smile on my baby's face in response to my silly sounds make my day?


On seeing me, why does my baby crawling towards me from the end of the room and gesturing 'pick me up' makes every minute worthwhile?


When my baby stands up and takes his first few steps looking at me for encouragement and support, why does my heart brim with joy and pride at his achievement?


When my baby goes deep into slumber while listening to my special song for him, why do I feel a deep sense of contentment as if the most important job was well done?


When I see my baby and husband sleeping peacefully next to each other, why I do feel as if life is as it should be?

Big changes..little pleasures

Well I am trying to get back to my old life..but the life I once lived does not exist anymore. There have been big changes in my life since the time I blogged last. It has been 9 months since I have blogged - the time it takes to have a baby. Yes, I had a baby - one of the most life changing experiences for a woman. My six month, over-active son is banging on the laptop as I write this. I cannot believe how many times in a day I say "No Kanna" and still it makes no difference to my baby who is determined and relentless in his objectives to be on the move constantly, all day long.

Motherhood has been challenging so far. I have had my moments of pure joy, frustration, excitement and exhaustion. But, it has been an interesting journey being a full-time mom. I am happy were I am in my life. I know these moments with the baby is fleeting like the clouds, so I am trying to absorb, soak and capture the fun times with my son. I am understanding the true meaning of patience and I am so looking forward to spending time with him everyday.

By the way, I missed reading all your blogs. I am catching up. :-)

Pained!

For the past 4 days I have been trying to get over thinking about the Mumbai terror, but my mind keeps going back to the senseless terror, the innocent people who lost their lives, their loved ones, their agony and so forth. I feel depressed, sad and extremely sorry for the victims and their family. My prayers are with them. Also hope I will regain my peace of mind soon. For the first time I feel that I should not fear such incidents, instead face whatever comes my way and not let the terrorists win!

Shopping with Dad

My dad and my husband are quite similar in many aspects, yet they have very different personalities. One aspect which my husband and dad are uniquely different are their shopping traits. I used to think my dad was unique when to came to shopping, because he loves shopping, especially with me, but I don't think thats true, because I hear from many of my friends that their dads were great shopping partners, while their husbands are not :-).

My dad used to shop clothes, jewellery and shoes for us whenever he used to travel to new places. I remember the time from childhood to teenage, my dad used to accompany me to all my shopping trips. He would scan the entire shop over and over again and get me clothes to the trial room to try. Dad would then patiently wait for me outside the dressing room to see what fits me best. If a particular outfit fitted and suited me well, we would be so thrilled about it, like we had won a lottery or something. The amazing part of this shopping routine was, my dad's tastes and mine were completely alligned. Many times, we would end up buying more than one set, just because we like it and endure the wrath of my mom at home. My dad is in his mid-sixities now and he is still very particular about clothes. After every shopping trip with him, my mom complains to me over phone about how she was tortured, while my dad took his own sweet time to decide on the clothes :-). I often smile when I hear this and relate to my dad so much. My husband can relate so much with my mom, as he gets really very impatient shopping with me.

My husband is like my mom. Shopping for them is a necessary evil, not a pleasure. There is no excitement in that process. While I eagerly look for clothes to try out, I always can sense my husband's impatience, like a child who wants to break free from the tight grasp of his mom to go play. After I try out and choose something I like, my husband would be happy like he won lottery (now, not because I found a good dress, but because he is free to go now :-( ).

I ofcourse miss my dear shopping partner (my dad), but I do appreciate my husband's tolerance levels. He accompanys me to every shopping trip, even though it is not an enjoyable process for him. :-)

image source: http://www.risingstars-uk.com/uploads/ImageRoot/images/WwbUiROM.j

Our Diwali Celebrations

I thought I will start off the blogging routine with a post about our Diwali celebrations. This Diwali was so much fun because this was the first Diwali I was at home after 7 years of being away from India and we had my husband's dad with us, so it was very special. I definitely missed celebrating Diwali in India, but I have been away from home for Diwali for so many years, that I don't remember the excitement and happiness that festival bought.

The day started off with nalangu, oil bath and wearing new clothes. I cooked the standard diwali cooking - more kulambu, rasam, vadai and payasam. We decorated the house with lamps and candles. We had our husband's cousin join us for dinner in the evening.

I have made medu vada before, but do not remember it turning out so well like yesterday. I got excellent tips from Vah Reh Vah youtube video. Check it out if you making medu vada.

Happy Diwali to all you bloggers!!:-) It is really fun to read other people's diwali celebrations.

Time to update my blog!

Finally I felt the need to update my blog. These past months I had so much I wanted to write about, I would think about new topics while I am getting ready to sleep or driving or in the shower, yet I could not bring myself to write any new posts. I then realized how difficult it is to keep a blog updated. Hats off to all of you who keep others entertained with your blog updates. Probably you deserve an award for this. Let me think of an award and pass to all the people who keep me entertained with their blog posts. As usual I have been reading a lot of blogs, even though I never kept mine updated.

These past few months so many changes have happened to me. Both on the personal and professional front. Luckily all these changes have been really good for me and I am happy about that.

I hope I can manage to write some new posts once in while..we'll see :-)

Olympic Inspirers

While everyone is going ga-ga about Olympic achievers Micheal Phelps, Usian Bolt, Nastia Lukin or Shawn Johnson, personally there are few that have captured my heart, even though they might have not won any medals or broken world records.

Alicia Sacramone:



Gymnast Alicia Sacramone faltered on the balance beam before she even started her routine. You could hear the audience's shock and the commentator saying what a disaster this was for US gymnastic team. Alicia herself realized at the moment she lost balance that she stripped her team of any Gold medal dreams. However, she went on to completing the rest of her routine perfectly. Many people in her position would have given up, because after years of working for something so dear to you, losing it because of bad luck feels really awful. In her interview later she said that it was rare for her to have lost balance like that. But it happened and she moved on. What I liked about her was that she had the courage, determination and sportsmanship to continue and do what she needed to do. She accepted responsibility for her mistakes even though according to experts even if Alicia had given a perfect routine, they would be still lagging behind China has they performed routines with more difficulty. I really feel that she was unfairly scored in the vault competition which she competed for later and lost the chance of winning the bronze, but I knew this girl will get through it. :-)

Milorad Cavic (the guy who "almost" won Phelps)

Cavic would have changed history by defeating the world's greatest swimming champ. But he apparently came second place to Phelps by 1/100th of a second. This just seems like bad luck or plain unfairness. Even when one watches the clip by clip images of Phelps and Cavic, it is not crystal clear that Phelps finished the race earlier. However I am really impressed with how Cavic has taken this in his stride and moved on. Read his interview here. I guess thats life. It may not be fair, you might not get what you worked for. You might have played all the cards right and still might have not reaped its benefits. What can one do in these circumstances? I guess we have to just move on and as hard and difficult it might seem, we just need to maintain a positive attitude that our day will come.

Lolo Jones



I saw sprinter Lolo Jones do very well in the heats and in the semi-finals. I was shocked to see that she came 5th place in the finals. Unfortunately it was not her day. She was leading the race until she hit the 8th hurdle and lost her speed. According to her this rarely happens and happened during the most important day of her life. Jones had faced several difficulties in life and she managed to come this far, just because of her sheer determination and her love for the sport. It is really a very inspiring story. Read more here. Really an example of what life can throw at you in the most unexpected time and fashion. Like Jones says, what can you do in these circumstances other than to try again? Well easy to say, but really very difficult to follow. Time is the healer of all wounds.

I am sure there are many, many more Olympic heroes like these people who have captured our hearts in displaying mental strength in the face of adverse circumstances. Apart from sports there are many people in life who have shown greatness in spirit despite difficulties. My three cheers to them. I did read that you need not be a medal winner to be an Olympic champion. So true!

Financially Smart?

Yesterday my dad was talking to me about his life before I was born. My dad had a dream to do this his M.E and work part-time. But when my parents realized they had me coming on the way, he had to ditch his plans and work full-time to support his family. I got emotional hearing this, because I did not know about this so long and I suddenly realized what my parents had gone through to give me the life I have today. This made me really think about how easy things have been for me and whether I was really managing the hard-earned money smartly.

I don't know if I will ever be financially smart, since I never manage my finances actively. It has always been somebody else's responsibility. The only time I managed my finances was when I was doing my Masters and I had convinced myself that my finances were not the priority at that time and focussed my energy on studying. Whenever I needed cash, I would ask family and things would be solved.

Today I work full-time and manage a home, but I still feel I am financially challenged. For example, when somebody asks me "how much is that stuff at Indian store?, I have absolutely no idea what the price is. I know how much our weekly grocery bill comes up to, but I have never bothered to remember the prices of individual items. For the longest time, I did not know how much a gallon of milk costs. While I trust my husband to take care of our finances and I feel very guilty for being this way. I think my ignorance and disinterest in learning and actively managing finances has got to something with how I was raised. Though I come from a middle-class family background, my parents have never made any issues about money when it came to me. Being the only daughter, my dad would buy me anything I fancied. Even when money was tight, my parents never really made a big deal and did not explain the situation to me. I think this sort of spoiled me. Even after years of living away from my parents, I still have not learnt to manage my finances actively. I cannot blame my parents for this, because I think their lives were about fulfilling their kid's desires. But, I think it is going to be different with my kids. I will teach my kids early on to be financially accountable (after I learn to be one) :-)

Earliest Memory

I cannot believe that it has been more than a month and half since I blogged. I have been preoccupied with so many things, that I have not had the time to blog. But, I have started to read many blogs quite frequently.

My good old buddy Sachita tagged me to write about my earliest memory. This is really an interesting and good tag.

My earliest memory is of course an incident that happened in my childhood. I think I was a toddler and I was sitting in the living room, when my dad was sitting on the sofa and reading the newspaper and drinking his morning coffee. I don't remember if I was wearing a plastic bangle that I removed or I found one on the floor, but I took it and put it in my mouth and was trying to swallow it. My dad who was just next to me, though engrossed in reading the paper, suddenly realized that something was wrong and looked at me. He saw me trying to push the bangle down my throat and his face turned blue. I clearly remember him screaming for my mother, while he put this fingers inside my mouth and pulled the bangle out which was really close to my throat. Apparently I was really young when this happened, but I am surprised how vividly I remember this incident, the living room, my dad reading the paper and all. :-)

My dad remembers his incident very well and how it scared the hell out of him :-)

The 10 Revelations

Mitr tagged me to reveal 10 secrets about myself. Here it goes:

1. I am a couch potato. Though I might discuss interesting hobbies with my friends and family, I can almost spend the entire day watching TV.

2. I can stay at home without stepping out of my house for months and months, if need be. I love my home and do not feel the need to venture out much, even though I might keep suggesting to my husband what places we should visit all the time.

3. I have always wanted to learn more in my field and qualify myself, and I know I can do it if I put my heart and soul into it, but I rarely do.

4. I can be extremely motivated at work to complete the task assigned to me. I will go any lengths to get my work done on time.

5. I hate letting down people who trust me - be it my family, friends or co-workers. I will put pressure on myself to not let down people, even though I know that sometimes it is inevitable and not in my control.

6. I sometimes evilly test the levels of my husband's extraordinary patience.

7. If some issue is bothering me, I cannot carry on day to day activities normally. I will be obsessed about it until I have a solution for it.

8. I envy my husband's ability to stick to a routine and not get bored by it.

9. Even though I prefer others be blunt and open with me, it is extremely hard for me to say what I feel sometimes.

10. I did not rag my juniors at college much, but I enjoyed ragging them when I did. :-)

Top 3 qualities

Everyone hates some qualities in others- be it dishonesty, arrogance, cheating, etc. It is often relatively easy to avoid such people, because you cannot envision having a decent relationship with them. But avoiding people who have only annoying qualities, but are generally good people, is very difficult. I am going to list such qualities of people, that I dislike and find extremely difficult to cope up with. The reason I am choosing to list qualities I dislike rather than like is because there are many qualities I like in a person and it is difficult to capture them as top 3. However, there are few qualities that really annoy me in people and I thought it would be easier to pen them down. Luckily my interactions with such people has been minimized greatly and I thank God for it.

1. People who dominate/control others:

These people are basically "control freaks". They generally like to control everything and anyone whom they can manipulate and control. They seem to derive some pleasure in doing so and often do this in order to feel important. People with this personality trait can usually be a pain at work. Especially if you work for them or work in a department that they generally dislike. I think the best way to deal with these people at work, is to just maintain your stance on what you feel is fair and not buckle down under pressure, as these people can be very forceful and demanding about what they want. If that does not work, just escalate the problem to your management or HR. When you encounter or have to deal with such a personality within relatives, it can be quite painful. They will have a say in everything you do and will often give you unsolicited advice. I have little tolerance to people who try to control me. Kids generally might feel that parents are the greatest control freaks, as they try to monitor and control all their activities. But, one adult trying to control another can be very traumatic to deal with. I try to avoid presence of such people in my life as much as possible.

2. People who have made bragging their habit:


Let me be honest here..everyone brags about something either intentionally or unintentionally during some point during their lives. I have no problems with that. I don't consider myself to be perfect either :-). But, there are people who make it a point to brag all the time. It is like a habit for them. Whenever you talk to them, it will always be about them - their kids milestones, their house, their car, their jobs, etc! I have read that people who are really insecure brag more than people who are secure..I am not sure how much of that is true. However, again I have little tolerance for such people. I do not have a good strategy to deal with such people other than to stay away from them.

3. People who are very verbose:


I am not talking about people who are generally talkative. I love people who talk a lot. I am talking about people who cannot stick to the topic at hand. For example, to say 'the color is white', they will generally say the 'color is not blue, not red, not purple, not black, blah, blah'. No matter how much time to give them they might not say the color is actually white. I find it extremely difficult to have a conversation with such people without interrupting them all the time. I find it very ill-mannered to do that, but it seems like I am losing precious time in letting them yap so much. Dealing with such people at work can be extremely unproductive. The effective strategy I feel to deal with such people is to just be direct and honest. Just say that you have something important to work on and will talk with them later. However, this is always not easy, especially if you need some information from them.

Now, I want to tag Mitr, Sachita and Priyamvada to write the top 3 qualities they like or dislike in people :-). Do it if you want to!!

Happy Day for you?

Read this article:

http://www.usatoday.com/life/columnist/finalword/2008-06-17-final-word_N.htm

Today, I believe has been declared as the happiest day of the year. Let me know your experiences..:-)