Occupation: Mother

Well since I have glorified motherhood, let me also share some of its challenges. On a day to day basics being a stay at mom and the primary caregiver for your baby can be frustrating. The routine of doing the same thing everyday almost exactly the same time, yet having some totally unpredictable days can get to you. For a person who hates routine, having a baby has been a huge transition. My baby has taught me the value of being in a rigid routine and sticking to it. I can never go back to being the person I once was.

Coping with the frustrations of being a stay-at-mom, I have found what helps me is treating, caring for child like working for a job. For example, we have routine days at work and yet some days are totally unpredictable ones. How do we handle this? Since, we are paid to do the job, we try to keep focus, we try to find ways to keep ourselves motivated, likewise being with my baby all day I have tried to find ways to keep myself sane and happy.

While, doing a good or bad job at work, can only impact our performance review, same is not true while taking care of our babies. As a parent, I totally feel that bringing a person into this world comes with a huge commitment - it is definitely the most important job on earth. As much as I want to do my best in the most important job, I have ever had, I find myself at times doubting myself. I am sure I am learning everyday. One thing I can easily say is that, of all the jobs I have ever held, this is the best job I have had. Even though it has its frustrating moments, I totally and completely love every bit of my work!!

Three cheers to motherhood!! :-)

Magic of Motherhood

I am no poet. In fact far from it, but why do I feel like writing a poem about the magic of motherhood?


At the end of a really trying and tiring day, why does the exuberant smile on my baby's face in response to my silly sounds make my day?


On seeing me, why does my baby crawling towards me from the end of the room and gesturing 'pick me up' makes every minute worthwhile?


When my baby stands up and takes his first few steps looking at me for encouragement and support, why does my heart brim with joy and pride at his achievement?


When my baby goes deep into slumber while listening to my special song for him, why do I feel a deep sense of contentment as if the most important job was well done?


When I see my baby and husband sleeping peacefully next to each other, why I do feel as if life is as it should be?

Conditioned Biases

Recently we have hired a babysitter and cook to take care of my son and help with household chores for 2 hours, 3 days a week. We desperately needed help as we are moving to a new home and we needed time to pack. My baby is very mobile now and I cannot imagine leaving him even for a minute without restraining him. I knew of a babysitter who was helping some other families in our apartment complex. She was a Pakistani woman around 60 years old. One day when I casually met her near the apartment pool, she told me she was available and could help me out. Yet, I avoided her due to the way I had been conditioned over the years to have a bias against that race and nationality. This was very intentional and not subconscious like Laksh mentions in her post. I felt bad for feeling this way, yet I felt justified. I had the right to choose who I wanted.

So, I continued my search. I had been looking around for the "right" person for a while. I found somebody who I thought as perfect - she was slightly expensive, but I did not bother as she was from the same place where I was raised and spoke the same language. She agreed to work for us. But after several disappointing excuses, she never showed up.

Due to lack of time, I finally decided to "try out" the Pakistani woman I had met earlier. She has been working with me for a week and half and has been great. She seems like a really nice person and has great work ethics.

This experience really thought me valuable lessons to say the least.

Big changes..little pleasures

Well I am trying to get back to my old life..but the life I once lived does not exist anymore. There have been big changes in my life since the time I blogged last. It has been 9 months since I have blogged - the time it takes to have a baby. Yes, I had a baby - one of the most life changing experiences for a woman. My six month, over-active son is banging on the laptop as I write this. I cannot believe how many times in a day I say "No Kanna" and still it makes no difference to my baby who is determined and relentless in his objectives to be on the move constantly, all day long.

Motherhood has been challenging so far. I have had my moments of pure joy, frustration, excitement and exhaustion. But, it has been an interesting journey being a full-time mom. I am happy were I am in my life. I know these moments with the baby is fleeting like the clouds, so I am trying to absorb, soak and capture the fun times with my son. I am understanding the true meaning of patience and I am so looking forward to spending time with him everyday.

By the way, I missed reading all your blogs. I am catching up. :-)

Pained!

For the past 4 days I have been trying to get over thinking about the Mumbai terror, but my mind keeps going back to the senseless terror, the innocent people who lost their lives, their loved ones, their agony and so forth. I feel depressed, sad and extremely sorry for the victims and their family. My prayers are with them. Also hope I will regain my peace of mind soon. For the first time I feel that I should not fear such incidents, instead face whatever comes my way and not let the terrorists win!

Shopping with Dad

My dad and my husband are quite similar in many aspects, yet they have very different personalities. One aspect which my husband and dad are uniquely different are their shopping traits. I used to think my dad was unique when to came to shopping, because he loves shopping, especially with me, but I don't think thats true, because I hear from many of my friends that their dads were great shopping partners, while their husbands are not :-).

My dad used to shop clothes, jewellery and shoes for us whenever he used to travel to new places. I remember the time from childhood to teenage, my dad used to accompany me to all my shopping trips. He would scan the entire shop over and over again and get me clothes to the trial room to try. Dad would then patiently wait for me outside the dressing room to see what fits me best. If a particular outfit fitted and suited me well, we would be so thrilled about it, like we had won a lottery or something. The amazing part of this shopping routine was, my dad's tastes and mine were completely alligned. Many times, we would end up buying more than one set, just because we like it and endure the wrath of my mom at home. My dad is in his mid-sixities now and he is still very particular about clothes. After every shopping trip with him, my mom complains to me over phone about how she was tortured, while my dad took his own sweet time to decide on the clothes :-). I often smile when I hear this and relate to my dad so much. My husband can relate so much with my mom, as he gets really very impatient shopping with me.

My husband is like my mom. Shopping for them is a necessary evil, not a pleasure. There is no excitement in that process. While I eagerly look for clothes to try out, I always can sense my husband's impatience, like a child who wants to break free from the tight grasp of his mom to go play. After I try out and choose something I like, my husband would be happy like he won lottery (now, not because I found a good dress, but because he is free to go now :-( ).

I ofcourse miss my dear shopping partner (my dad), but I do appreciate my husband's tolerance levels. He accompanys me to every shopping trip, even though it is not an enjoyable process for him. :-)

image source: http://www.risingstars-uk.com/uploads/ImageRoot/images/WwbUiROM.j

Our Diwali Celebrations

I thought I will start off the blogging routine with a post about our Diwali celebrations. This Diwali was so much fun because this was the first Diwali I was at home after 7 years of being away from India and we had my husband's dad with us, so it was very special. I definitely missed celebrating Diwali in India, but I have been away from home for Diwali for so many years, that I don't remember the excitement and happiness that festival bought.

The day started off with nalangu, oil bath and wearing new clothes. I cooked the standard diwali cooking - more kulambu, rasam, vadai and payasam. We decorated the house with lamps and candles. We had our husband's cousin join us for dinner in the evening.

I have made medu vada before, but do not remember it turning out so well like yesterday. I got excellent tips from Vah Reh Vah youtube video. Check it out if you making medu vada.

Happy Diwali to all you bloggers!!:-) It is really fun to read other people's diwali celebrations.